Last Saturday as I was doing my last long run before the ING Miami Half Marathon, someone called me fat. FAT, not PHAT, meaning cool and great. Some guy (looked homeless) on a bike shouted out to me that I was fat, and I should just keep running & running to lose the weight. **(Stay tuned next week for the blog post of why I run)
Yes I do have a mirror, but I didn’t consider myself fat. I always thought of myself as voluptuous and statuesque. Usually things like this don’t really bother me, but for some reason, this just hit me and I’m not going to lie, it hurt. As I finished my run on Saturday I thought to myself, we live in such a society that if you’re not a size 2 through maybe 6, you’re outside of the realm of ‘hotness’. Then the brain flash that I had was I was born several centuries too late, in the 15th Century I would’ve been considered HOT and maybe even have modeled for Botticelli.
The battle of the bulge is not for the faint of heart. It really isn’t. If you’ve never battled it you have no idea what its like. The thing is I’m very fit, I’m just not thin. I run marathons, I do triathlons, and I’m open to try anything athletic at least once. But I’m not thin… I recently started keeping a food diary (myfitness pal – android & iphone app), and let me tell you, once you start keeping track of what you eat you realize a lot of things about your eating habits. I’m not going to lie, I’m not the healthiest of eaters. But I have to work with what will work for me, which is eating what I like but just a lot less. I’m trying to listen to my body when it starts to tell me that it’s full, even though I sometimes ignore it. Growing up you were taught to eat everything on your plate, because the poor children in Africa were going hungry. If I would’ve had left overs, how would they even have gotten to Africa? But now I know better.
I usually don’t tell anyone I’m trying to lose weight. Because then I get the ‘you shouldn’t eat that’, or ‘really you’re going to have 2nds?’. I know that folks mean well, but it never settles well.
So far since the start of the new year I’m down 7lbs… Will I win the war? Who knows… But I’m working on this battle one day at a time. So at least when some guy passes by me on a bike when I’m running he won’t call me fat.